15th anniversary

Today is the 15th anniversary of this blog! Thank you to everyone who has visited over the years.

I thought it would be interesting to look at my Google Analytics for this blog to see which posts have had the most traffic. I didn't add the code until July of 2013, but even so, some of the posts that predate that are still among the most visited overall, which is interesting.

My highest traffic time period was from March - August, 2015. During this time, I wrote a series of posts attempting to deconstruct various themes in some of Magne's songs. I spent a lot of time on those posts, and they don't include any news, so it makes me happy that people found them interesting enough to visit in such numbers.

Here are the blogs that received the most views in the last 15 years:

1. threads - May 6, 2015
2. threads 2 - May 21, 2015
3. threads 3 - June 8, 2015

This one comes next, and is one of the ones I had the most fun writing :-) I stand behind what I said about how addictive 'We Are Here' is:

"The music is quite happy where it is, firmly ensconced on the couch in my brain, feet up on the table, cheerfully demanding cheese doodles and beer. I might as well let it get comfortable and stay a while. When music invites itself in like this, there is no way to fight it."

4. saturation point - February 5, 2010

Then come the rest of the top 15 posts of the last 15 years:

5. This Is Our Home - July 1, 2017
6. Payne's Gray book - September 14, 2010
7. Sunny Mystery - June 8, 2009
8. The Voice, part 3 - May 28, 2012
9. Moods of Norway - August 28, 2010
10. From the archives - 'The album that changed my life' - May 25, 2011
11. fun with words - August 19, 2011
12. The Apparatjik Light Space Modulator - February 1, 2011
13. apparatjik tv & little a & pixel city - March 31, 2011
14. 'futuristic robot love stories' - January 26, 2012
15. 'Foot of the Mountain' / 'The Longest Night' - April 26, 2009

Speaking of anniversaries, February 1st is the 10th anniversary of the release of 'We Are Here'. I wonder if the 'tjiks will acknowledge that somehow? I've always been into marking the big anniversaries, but not everyone cares about that stuff ;-) Still, those times were so fun and inspiring. It would be great to hear new music from Appararjik, now that Magne's done his first solo album in more than a decade.

Today's big news is that Magne has given us some WXL dates to put on the calendar for 2020 - November 7th and 15th, and December 4th and 5th. With a-ha on tour through November, we can guess that there will be a gig in Berlin on November 7th and a gig in London on November 15th. Some are assuming the December dates will be in Oslo, however a few are saying perhaps New York, because he mentioned the possibility of shows there in an interview with Classic Pop Magazine. It's great he is giving people so much time to plan, I am only hoping I can make it to one of the shows.

Thanks again for visiting here, and I promise to write more soon - my former boss' replacement starts next week, so I should be able to breathe a little more, a least for a couple of weeks... ;-)


I'm sure if you come here, you already know about Magne's advent calendar alternate mix track posts - if you don't, go here. You're late, fix that!

Those aren't videos, but these are! Watch:

I loved this song live, it's so personal and expressive, plus it's great the way it builds, and the entire band gets fully into it by the end.

And that George Michael vibe he's giving off? Not necessary, but definitely appreciated. Bonus points if you can spot me in the front row with three other American fans, all of us desperately trying not to bawl our eyes out during 'This is now America'. Don't judge.

Ok, that's not much substance, so sue me - I'm trying to make this a daily thing, so some posts are going to be short ;-)
jack think

'less clutter on her mind..."

What a busy year it has been.

In March at my work I was invited to join a team of 12 employees putting together a proposal for our company to develop a diversity and inclusion mission statement and several high level initiatives around accessibility, development and advancement of POC leaders, community responsibility and supplier diversity. We spent weeks doing research and presented to the CEO, who agreed to all of our proposals and asked us to be the founding members of a diversity council for the organization. That kicked off a ton of really positive collaboration with cross functional departments I have never worked with before, multiple domestic trips for planning and training, and the dedication of ostensibly 10% of my hours to this work - which in practice actually means I am doing my full time job plus 5-10 hours a week extra on my own time for this project. But I really love this work, I have done it before at another organization, and it is so fulfilling to be making these changes to help transform our company.

Then my part time job - another passion project, you could say - expanded this fall to include a second project, with sometimes conflicting schedules. So I have been working 45-50 hours a week at my day job, and 10-15 hours a week on my part time job, sometimes more. When I recently took stock on how I am spending my time, it was surprising to find that I have been working almost the equivalent of two full time jobs. It's no wonder that I'm a little burned out, and that despite all the great stuff happening in Magne's world, I have struggled to keep up with it - even though I'm super interested in all of it. Sigh!

The good news is that at my job we have hired two full time employees to take over the day to day work involved with the diversity projects, so although I will still be involved on the council, I don't expect to have to spend any time outside my normal work hours to get things done. Unfortunately, my boss just left the company, so I'll be busy covering some of his work until a replacement can be found, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I expect things to settle down by the second week of January at the office.

I have learned this year that despite my endless enthusiasm and intention to dedicate myself to everything equally, the reality is that I took on way too much and I'm now completely frazzled - and on some level dissatisfied with my recent work on all fronts, because I have simply been overextended. I owe it to myself and to those who depend on me to use the coming two months to rest and re-energize myself, before my part time work picks up again in earnest.

All this to say that I can relate to the lyrics 'she longs for simpler times, less clutter on her mind', both for their contextual meaning in the song (big time), and because I personally need to simplify. I've just returned from attending Magne's 'White Xmas Lies' concert in Oslo, and the experience was so uplifting and inspiring, and I don't want those feelings to fade too soon - yet the clutter of regular life is seeping back into my mind, and it's clear I need to take some steps to prevent that :-)

Inspired by Magne's advent calendar of daily tracks on Instagram, and a pre-New Years resolution I've made to get control of the clutter in my mind, my plan is to (1) limit my time on my personal Twitter accounts during the rest of the year, because that's where I spend the most optional time online - I get most of my news about current events on Twitter, so the experience is of consuming hundreds of little chunks of (sometimes depressing and occasionally mildly enraging) information at various times during the day, which definitely casues much of that feeling of clutter in my mind, and (2) write about Magne's new music, which lifts my heart and is actually kind of healing as well. These two changes will make a world of difference in my mental well being, for sure. I can't commit to writing every day, but I will do my best to write regularly between now and the end of the year.

Thank you to the folks who visit here, looking for new random musings from me about topics related (often somewhat loosely, LOL) to Magne's work. I keep an eye on my Google Analytics accounts, and I know that visits have gone way down this year, as you'd expect with the lack of updates - but still there are two visitors who return regularly to check for new posts, one from Sweden and one from California. I won't post the names of the cities, because that's too close to being a violation of privacy in my opinion, but I just want to say that I am grateful that you come here and that you find something here that you value in some way. I wish you both - and all those who visit here in the coming weeks - a wonderful Christmas if you celebrate it, and a happy New Year. Thank you for reading!

not gone but not here

Been quiet again here for a while, I hope you're all doing well!

If you're wondering if 'This Is Our Home' makes a good first dance song at a wedding reception, I can now tell you from experience that it absolutely does :-)

My former boss - who I loved working for, but he left in December and now we're friends in real life and not just coworker-friends, which is way better than being his employee, but I miss him so much! - and his wife used it during their wedding reception in April and it was incredibly beautiful. No one else in the place knew the song but them and me, and I felt a little warm fuzzy feeling that I had a small part in creating those wonderful few moments in their new life together.

Not much else on the MF front to share, except of course he was at the opening ceremony for Festpillene i Bergen earlier this week (there are photos on Facebook), and he has a new exhibition opening on June 1 called 'Ignis' (info on Facebook).

Waiting anxiously for solo album news, as I suppose you are :-) In the meantime, enjoy the summer!
jack snowflake

listening habits

This post is about Spotify, so if you don't have an account there, just disregard :-)

Every year Spotify creates a personal annual Top Songs playlist for members, which shows up in your account sometime in December. I didn't save my 2017 playlist, which I am bummed about because looking back I realize it's kind of an interesting musical time capsule from a year of listening. I did save my 2018 playlist and made it public - you can find it here.

One thing I learned from my 2018 playlist is that I have become pretty lazy about finding new music. So many of the songs on there were not released in 2018, and had been on one of my two main private playlists for some time. My habit has been to keep the same playlists going and just add a new song here and there, when the mood strikes me. But here I am paying for a premium account, where I can listen to thousands of artists from around the world - teenage me would have *loved* this, and devoted a ton of time to exploring diverse music - and I am listening to the same relatively few artists and songs over and over.

I was surprised to find that there are only three a-ha songs on my 2018 playlist, until I realized that I usually listen to a-ha on Apple Music because I have their entire catalog there. Same with Magne's music, and Martin Halla's album (three of my favorite albums, 'PPFT', 'Musikk fra filmen Beatles' and 'Winter Days' are not available in the US, sigh). And now that I have a new car that doesn't have a CD player, I stream all my music when I'm driving, which means mostly Spotify. So there is a lot of music I love that I don't listen to as often as I'd like to, and is not on my 2018 playlist.

However! There are some awesome outliers in my 2018 playlist, songs that I re/discovered in various ways; it's also super fun to have songs I played to death in early 2018 show up here after some months out of rotation - like old friends :-) 

As 2019 goes on, I plan to spend more time exploring music on Spotify (I think I may have to become a Deathcab for Cutie fan), diversify what I listen to (I was gratified when Spotify produced a Daily Playlist with almost entirely 70s/80s R&B for me recently), find great songs from the past ('Lean on Me' by Club Nuveau is a new old favorite, as well as 'Power of Two' by Indigo Girls), and basically make my Top Songs 2019 playlist KICK ASS when it shows up in December. I don't want a bunch of songs I've played to death for years on there, I want it to be full of interesting stuff.

Also I'm happy that depending on when 'White Xmas Lies' drops, my 2019 playlist will include new Magne F tracks :-)

If you want to join me in my musical explorations, my first suggestion would be to use the personalized Spotify 'Tastebreakers' playlist to help you find new music. I found Sondre Justad that way, and a Birds of Tokyo song I would never have found otherwise, and so much more. Spotify has a hive brain that can predict what kind of music you might like, and the more you listen, the smarter it gets about this.

Here is the on topic part of this post (wake up! lol):

When you play the music you like, and respond to the Spotify suggested songs for you, you are helping Spotify to build associations in their database for song styles, lyrics keywords, genre classifications, and all kinds of other things - and when Magne's album is released and you listen to that to death (like I will), Spotify will know how to connect other listeners to Magne's music via all these database markers. People who have no idea who he is will log in and find his tracks in their 'Tastebreakers' playlist, hopefully give them a listen, and move on to discover more of his music.

So yes, you can help Magne's future album success by listening to a ton of music all year - what's not to like about that? Win/win :-)

Two more tips:

- Search for Magne's profile on Spotify, and follow him. The more people who search for and follow him, the more his music will be suggested to other people who like artsists similar to the artists you also like. Right now, Magne has 577 followers, and that is total bullshit - sorry, but there are so many more of us out there! Follow. Now.

- Create your own public playlists and include your favorite tracks. The more playlists your favorite artists appear on, the more their music is suggested to others. Also the artists can see what playlists their songs are on, and I can promise you that they appreciate this :-) a-ha's music is on over 2 million user playlists. That is impressive. Let's do what we can to get Magne's music on more user playlists.

P.S. I just created my own 'Dark Music Playlist' in honor of the upcoming dark xmas album. I have no idea what Magne's dark music will sound like, but I do like the concept of 'dark music', so this will include tracks that fit my impression of what that means. You can find it here. 'Pit Viper' is the first song that came to mind when I saw the term 'dark music' - great old tune. I'll add to this over time.

new solo album

As we wait for news about Magne's new solo album, here are a couple of Instagram posts to catch you up on, in case you missed them. Click the image to go to the source post.

Edited to put the images behind this link, because they are larger than I expected (but I don't want to reduce them because they're awesome :-)) -->Collapse )

On a side note, I just went through the process of changing my web hosting plan for the first time in 10 years - I remember setting it all up while watching President Obama's first inauguration - and made the decision not to continue building my Magne F Archive site in its current version. It will be moved to a new, faster server pretty soon, and I'm looking into some interesting new themes and post options on Wordpress to change it up. With the new solo album on the horizon, I want something that lives and breathes a little more ;-) Stay tuned.


Magne has just posted an awesome clip on Instagram, announcing his new album 'WHITE XMAS LIES' coming out in December 2019:


Let the countdown begin! Also this is cool to read: "15+ original songs so far" (!!).

Interesting that it's 11 years almost to the day since the ADOBITBOYB album cover painting and digital album release, but probably just a coincidence ;-)
peace magne

small joys 4

Haven't done this in a while, but felt the need to share some MF related things that made me happy lately:

~ You may have heard this already if you follow Martin A on Instagram:

'The River' was written by KT Tunstall and Martin Terefe, and previously recorded/released by Martin Halla on his 2013 album 'Winter Days'. I've had to give this version some time to grow, only because I've had five years with Martin's version, but it's definitely happening.

~ Looks like the Apparatjik performance was a success in Szczecin, Poland a couple of weeks ago. There are some great pictures here. Also not sure if this link will work, but if it does, you will surely enjoy this video from before the event.

~ The prospect of more a-ha concerts is pretty awesome too! No real details yet, just a teaser for now here

~ Even better prospect, in my very biased opinion? New music from Magne on the horizon somewhere! Yes, we're all used to waiting, but it's nice to know the wait will be over soonish :-)

~ Here is a short video from Magne's 'Icon' exhibition opening yesterday in Oslo.

~ I heard the song 'You Say' by Lauren Daigle on the radio the other day and thought it thematically would be the perfect companion to 'More Than Good Enough':

I didn't realize at first that it's a religious song, but still the emotions behind it pair well with the intent of MTGE:

"I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up"

The reassurance and kindness in MTGE are a response to exactly these emotions.

"The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me"

Sometimes all you need is to have that one person who has faith in you, who knows what you are capable of, understands what is holding you back and builds you up so you can face anything. Anyway I think these two songs present an interesting pairing of themes.

~ There is an interesting thread on Twitter about joy, written by the inspiring Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg. She says that people are often uncomfortable with feelings of joy. "Feeling happy makes us vulnerable in a way that feeling terrible doesn’t." We need to protect joy, we fear the loss of it. People know what to do with anger and sadness and frustration, we are conditioned to expect those feelings and even sometimes encouraged to amplify them; often we share our challenges with others more than we share joys. She says that joy is "hard and threatening for many of us", and continues to say that joy is the unknown, it requires us to be present in the moment and accepting it. For me this is a key post in the thread.

In short, we have a choice in how we respond to moments of joy. We can choose to embrace them, hold them close to us or reflect them outwards to others.

I would expand on this thread in a different direction and say that not only should we embrace our own joys, but we should be especially kind and gentle with other people's joys, simply because they are closest to their hearts. You can tell a lot about a relationship by the way each one treats the other person's joys - do they handle them with care, strive to protect them, look for ways to activate them, or do they ignore or minimize or even actively prevent them?

So many people tend to break down what brings other people joy and happiness, they take satisfaction in tempering people's dearest hopes with 'realism' and 'practicality', and even seem to actively begrudge the simplest pleasures of others. I can't tell you the number of times I have tried to share something that made me happy with someone, only to have them belittle it or question it or try to make me feel frivolous or strange for finding joy in that (to them) inconsequential thing. The result is that I keep those things to myself in order to protect them. Why do people do this to one another?

...and how is this connected to this blog? :-)

As a "fan" there are many things that bring me joy in this context that a lot of people don't understand. They don't get why I'd travel across the world for a concert, or why certain lyrics always make my heart skip with happiness, or how I get a little thrill every time I download a new song from my favorite band. Most of the time I don't talk about this stuff, because I don't want people to question and look doubtful and even scorn something that makes me happy, so that's why this blog is important to me - it's a place I can share these things and know that you (whoever you are :-)) probably understand and maybe feel the same way about some of these things.

Long story short, inspired by the Rabbi and other things recently, I've decided to more actively embrace life's joys and to share more of them with people in the hope that they will feel some joy as well :-) I am also trying to be more in tune with other people's joys, listen and learn from them, and make sure friends know they are safe sharing with me.

~ I've said before that I long for a 'happy' song from Magne, and I've also said that he somehow has a way of writing what my heart needs to hear, so my hope for his next album is that there is joy in it. It would not be obvious, that's not his style, but I hope he will somehow render in song those 'glowing moments' he spoke about last year.


Sorry for the long silence here, it has been a crazy busy month with my long-awaited family vacation to London and preparations for my son to go away to college, plus a merger at work and the a-ha tour - but honestly busy is good, because once the tour is over and my son is away at school, it will be so quiet I'll be wishing for these times again :-) Maybe in two weeks I'll be here blogging every day LOL.

It's hard to put into words how wonderful my trip to Copenhagen was, but I'll try. I went over there with little notice and did very little research about the city or what would be happening while I was there, apart from asking a couple of local friends for recommendations via Facebook messenger. I was open to anything.

It was the first time I went on a trip for a concert without my husband driving me to the airport - he had a work thing he couldn't get out of - and my neighbor dropped me off. This may sound strange, but because of this I started off feeling 100% excited instead of carrying a lingering feeling of guilt for going on an adventure and leaving family behind. It helped that the trip was paid for from a bonus I worked hard to earn, and not our normal family budget.

It was also the first time I went on a concert trip with only a backpack - I usually over-pack for even short trips, so this was a pretty big accomplishment ;-) Having only the essentials helped make the trip overall so stress-free, I wish all trips could be like this one was. On the first day, I arrived at the hotel around 2pm, and had a good Italian meal in the lobby restaurant while waiting for my room to be ready. It was sweltering in Europe at the time, and most (if not all?) buildings don't have air conditioning, so it was a little uncomfortable in that regard, but I was lucky enough to score the hotel's last fan for our room. After a quick shower and e-mail check, I went out into the city to meet Heidi, the friend who took me sightseeing during my visit in 2013.

Heidi is a great tour guide, she showed me places most tourists don't go, and anticipated all my questions. She obviously loves Copenhagen and enjoys sharing stories about her city. We did a lot of walking, and between that and the jet lag, I am embarrassed to admit that I nodded off a bit on the water taxi ride ;-) She was quietly amused but understood completely.

We also went to Tivoli Gardens, where she is an annual pass holder, and had a wonderful amble around the amusement park. She treated me to cake and champagne, as well - remembering as I had not that when we last met I had paid for lunch. That was so kind of her, and it was a wonderful treat to sit in the shade on that hot day and drink cold champagne with a friend.

I was surprised to learn that Tivoli is 175 years old - the attractions are an interesting mix of old and new thrill rides, and the atmosphere that day was relaxed and calm - very unlike amusement parks like Six Flags or Disney or any of the others I had been to before. There are tree lined pathways and restaurants of various styles scattered around, and it was pleasantly crowded with people lounging in deck chairs on well-maintained lawns, or having picnics in the sun, or enjoying various performances throughout the park. I couldn't believe how clean it was, Heidi explained that it's part of the culture there to maintain a good environment for everyone, and to recycle whenever possible. Not only this, but despite the prolific availability of alcohol, I never saw anyone acting drunk or obnoxious, not even during the concert. More on that later.

Around 8pm I headed back to the hotel and called home, then waited for Amanda to arrive. She got in after 10:30pm, so I was really tired by that time, but super happy to be reuinted with my partner in crime. We talk often on Skype, so it was like picking up an ongoing conversation :-) Earlier that day I had managed to get in touch with someone who had inner circle tickets they couldn't use, who was kind enough to send me their tickets for free, so we were excited about the prospect of being able to get closer to the stage than we otherwise could have.

The next morning we did some sightseeing, and visited a jewelry shop I have followed on Instagram for a few years now (Handcrafted CPH). It was really difficult to decide what to buy there, I had seen so many of Anders' original designs online and I liked so many of the necklaces, rings and earrings. I finally chose two small things for myself and two gifts, and Amanda bought a ring. On the way back from the store, we found an awesome vinyl shop and browsed there for a while. By this time, Amanda was already planning to bring her husband to Copenhagen during the Christmas holidays.

In the afternoon, we decided to have dinner at the Vapiano's adjacent to Tivoli. We had a table outside and did some people watching while enjoying a long, relaxing chat. Then we went into the park and had a pleasant wander around, keeping an eye on the inner circle area so we would know when to go in and choose a spot for the show.

One of the reasons I was hesitant to go to a summer show was because festivals and stadium shows are notorious for being full of drunk people who are there to socialize and not for the music; besides that, I don't like to travel thousands of miles only to be stuck 100 metres from the stage with a terrible view, however I also hate queueing all day and having to stake out a spot in the front for hours before a show starts. Physically this is normally just too much for me, but as I mentioned before, having recently found a treatment for a chronic condition, I took a huge chance that this time an outdoor festival show would not only be bearable but fun - and the show at Tivoli didn't disappoint.

We went into the inner circle around 8pm and the show didn't start until 10pm. We sat for a bit on the concrete in front of the stage, and it was pretty chill until around 9pm, when more people started to come in. We had to stand at that point, but I was still feeling ok and not stressed at all - and the people around us were friendly and good about letting people come and go to the bar or to the toilet, saving places for people and basically just ready to have a good time together. The atmosphere was awesome, much better than I could ever have expected.

The show itself was amazing. Maybe it was the incredible atmosphere, maybe it was the band anticipating the prospect of a two week break afterwards, maybe it was the lunar eclipse/blood moon, who knows - but for whatever reason, the guys were having a great time, and we were, too. We were stood in front of Magne, which was perfect :-) I love watching him concentrate and groove with the music and engage the crowd and enjoy himself on stage. Highlights of the set were 'Train of Thought', 'Weight of the Wind', 'Lifelines', 'Scoundrel Days' and of course 'Take On Me' - and the fabulous crowd sing along during 'The Living Daylights', which years ago I used to be impatient with, but now I thoroughly enjoy due to Magne's energy in directing the crowd to sing their loudest. I can't seem to find a video from close up at this show, but this one is pretty good:

(the sing-along starts at 4:40 ish)

Another cool highlight happened during the break before the encore. The crowd was waiting eagerly for the band to return to the stage, and then unexpectedly Magne ran out to his microphone, gestured that it wasn't part of the encore return of the band - and told us all to look behind us because the eclipse was going on back there...! We knew it was going to happen that night, of course, but we were facing the stage and those of us in front at least never noticed that the moon was already more than half obscured and an interesting shade of orange/red. I can't remember what words he actually used, but he said something along the lines of he wanted to point this out to us because it had been going on throughout the show and it was 'not a normal thing you see' :-))) He then ran back off stage, and the band returned for the encore after we'd had a chance to appreciate the lunar situation above us ;-)

It was honestly one of the best concert experiences I've had in a long, long time. I am so glad I took the chance to go and that Amanda was able to join me. After the show, we had dessert and wine, and went back to the hotel tired and happy. On Saturday, we rode on the hop on - hop off bus to spare our feet, visited the SMK museum, did some shopping, and then spent another six hours in Tivoli. The sun was shining, we had deck chairs in the shade, large beers to drink, and even Facetimed with Amanda's husband for a bit. We were both happy to have another relaxing afternoon and evening in the park, rather than trying to get more big tourist sights in.

My flight home was very early on Sunday, I had to leave the hotel around 4:15am, but it was worth it. I was home by dinner, and back at work the next day. Less than two weeks later, my family went to London for a week, where Amanda and her husband met us. I met Amanda because of a-ha, I have been fortunate enough to travel to London a bunch of times because of the band, and I feel so much gratitude for all the great friendships and experiences I have had since I first took a chance to go to Norway and see a-ha in 2001.

Now my travels this year are over, but I am grateful I have so much to look back on to sustain me until the next time :-)

Edited to add this clip I just discovered:

Super. Adorable. That is all!

from the road 4

Thanks to an unexpected break in a project at work, and a bonus that came in at the right time, I am going to the show in Copenhagen this Friday :-) My boss practically insisted that I go, and who am I to argue? We are going to be very busy over the coming months at work, and I probably won't have any time off between September and the end of the year. I texted my bestie in England and she and I booked the trip within 30 minutes - we'll be in Copenhagen from Thursday to Sunday. So excited!


Check out this wonderful new single from Buika, 'Deadbeat'. It will surely sound both familiar and radically different to you :-)

I am convinced that while Magne somehow writes what my heart needs to hear, Buika could sing what my heart needs to say. I feel like I could whisper to her my hopes and dreams, my struggles and sorrows, my faith and my joys, and her voice could express it all seemingly without effort. And that is saying a lot of her voice, because my heart could say a lot.

In short, she has an extraordinary talent, be sure to listen to this and her other music!

See also: Buika: The Voice of Freedom. It's an older article, but tells a bit about her personal and creative history. Great quote:

"Hope is for people who wait. And I don't want to wait no more. I'm not scared anymore. I'm not scared of myself. Of my things. Of my fear. Of absolutely nothing. And that's music."